We were

Those were truly the days in which we were.


The scary thing is that it doesn't feel as if much time has passed.
- Time is the thing that scares me most of all. Uncontrollable, cruel, a roaring tsunami; yet occasionally merciful. Taking away things we never thought we'd lose.
Time.

We were.
Now - our houses vacant . The words in which we found comfort are dusty and old... and some even strange to us. Others simply come untrue. - Is. Will. We, now, love. - When.
No more messages of procrastination, moving pictures of smiles and silly, nighttime chats and comfort in being only words away from one another.
We have grown old. Lost the time on our hands, while propelling forward in two dimensions.
One has to give for the other.


What does the future hold for us?
For them?


For me?

The beauty if it all

Everybody notices.

Yes, they do. When we were together I couldn't help but notice the many looks she got, both from friends, strangers and family members. Yes, everybody certainly noticed. And I was caught in as well, oh dear was I but a mere fish dreaming of her great oceanrain. Her skin was as soft as the silky webs of the insides of white lilies, and her hair smelled like fruitful gardens with river streams, great trees bowing in dry wind carrying wonderfully delicious fruits with a scent that could carry you away t0 higher skies with just one bite of it's flesh. Yes, so sweet was the smell of her hair, wavering in the wind, caressing her back with it's golden threads. And her eyes... oh God, her eyes.

Ever since the first time I saw those eyes - yes, from the moment I caught but a small glimpse of them - I knew that look would follow me to eternity.

Yes, she was indeed beautiful, beatiful as a thousand suns beaming towards you. And everybody noticed. The light, the music of her muscles operating, her footsteps claiming their way in this world. I felt intoxicated when I was with her. I could never understand that this wonder, this being, that she felt my prescence as being delightful or perhaps soothing. That she felt comfortable about having me with her. Everything felt unreal when I was with her, and it was only in the shorts moments, where I was able to direct my attention at something else, that I was able to see how many eyes she caught. I didn't blame them, no, no, not at all. No, I was rather one of them, being but a spectator to the presence of this unearthly beauty. Therefore, I did not judge them, and carried no prejudices towards the people we met along our way. I was merely amazed by the impression she had on people, the way that everyone changed around her. Everyone became their best... and somehow, the world just wasn't as beautiful when she weren't there. The human kind are not what they used to be... and when I wasn't with her, I was - from time to time - overwhelmed with the horrible behaviour of so many people. It appears to me as if they've forgotten what this world is... and the beauty of it all.

He lives

His eyes suddenly turned black as the night - the color with its roots in a sudden anger which had it's only alike in the anger I had only once seen arise from my sisters wisp body. Frightened I backed away from him - trying to calm him down but too late and only to bump into the kitchen table. I accidentally cut myself on a sharp knife as I moved my arm in over the table, and I couldn't hold in a gasp provoked by the great pain that came from my arm. The knife fell to the floor with a loud, metallic sound that wavered between us.
The sun quickly faded outside, and dark skies had within seconds started to form over the city. I didn't dare break the eye contact as much as I wanted to, but I could feel the room grow darker around us and hear the violent wind shaking the trees outside. I put my hand over the cut to stop the bleeding, but removed it again as he walked closer.
"I'm sorry, I..." I started but looked down, and immediately regretted as I could feel the great energy coming from him growing darker.
His voice was a blur of a thousand voices speaking as one, dark and deep and powerful voices, asking me how I could let them do that to me.
"Isaac..." I tried. "They don't..."
"Understand?! Because they don't WANT TO!" claimed the thousand voices, and I, who'd raised my head again, couldn't face the deep wrath, they all were a symbol of, and looked away. We'd talked about this before, and I knew that what I did was wrong somehow... but I just couldn't believe they were all like that.
"Isaac, I'm sorry, you know that I..."
I abruptly ended my sentence as I now caught a look through the window of how things were outside. I'd never seen him this angry.
I turned to him again with pleading eyes, and lay a hand on his chest. Tears welled up.
"Isaac, stop... please. I promise, Isaac, I wont do it again! Can you hear me in there? Reviens-moi, reviens-moi..."
After a while he froze, and it seemed as if I'd gotten through. I knew there was an inner battle of control. He had the strongest and biggest power amongst all of us, and it was hard to control, I knew that.
I slowly approached him when his eyes started to change, and caressed his cheek. I caught him as he almost fell when It had let him go, let him lie down and sat down next to him. He opened his mouth and began to speak, it was merely a whisper - his eyes were their normal deep, brown color and had a look of despair to them.
"Shh... It's okay honey, it's okay..." I told him as I took him into my arms. "I'm sorry... I wont do this again, I promise."
As grave as this was getting we'd have to be more careful.
If we provoked the great power too many times it could go a lot worse that this... And we could lose a lot more than just... Oh god, we could loose Isaac. And it'd be my fault... Just because of my stupid trust in the Original People.
What have I been thinking? I thought as I lay down next to him on the cool kitchen floor.
What have I been thinking...

They are

I don't know for how long I stood there.
I guess after a while I went into my room. If one of my siblings had come by, they wouldn't understand, I knew that.
Like when we're in the woods or at the sea.
They don't understand. They don't see it. They don't feel it...

Not like I do, at least. I don't think they would have noticed him either.
I guess people don't really look anymore. Most people, that is. It's always been sort of taboo... and yet, getting to know people, it is one of the topics that is so very often encountered during conversation.
Memories, hidden away not to be spoken of - these experiences we have and never forget.
Something out of the ordinary.
A sight, a voice, a presence.
A feeling.
A whisper blown around the corner only to kiss your face. Caressing your rosy winter-cold cheeks, fooling your ears and mind with the sound, as an autumns leaf falling from the sky gliding through your hair as the soft and careful hand of a lover on a summer day - and let you forget, like you forget just how beautiful spring is. Let you doubt it, doubt yourself - ask your self it that was..? Did I just..?

"Hello?"

I leaned against the door once I'd closed it.
I don't remember if I said anything to him - I think he would have known what I wanted to say anyway.
If I'd told him "I know you're there", it would have served only the purpose of reassuring myself.
He knew that I knew.
He could see it in my eyes, and I could feel it coming from his, even if they were hidden in the shadows by my bed.

Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever see him again - if he's still here.
Why he let me see him.
Maybe - maybe one day we'll meet again.
Another time, another place...
Even if I can't see him, I'll know he's there.

I was

You know, I was in Greece once. Twice actually - but the first time still is a treasured memory.

It was in 1999 - I was 8 years old. With my little hands I reached out for the warm palms bowing in the wind, on which snails were sitting to be warmed up by the sun - snails as big as the palms of my hands, their houses colorful like a pile of rotten autumn leaves.
I remember my surprise seeing that the palms weren't as triangle-shaped as I'd imagined them to be.
The asphalt was boiling under my bare feet. The soft skirt I had wrapped around my hips gently caressed my knees and shins, kissing the soft spots protected by the harsh and yet loving sun.
We lived in a blue tent by the ocean, just 7 meters away from sand and fish and corals and wet stones glimmering under the sun. There were other children there - they were so sweet. Anja and Sofia - I still remember them. At night we fell asleep to the sound of insects singing to the choir of frogs, when the night blanket had fallen upon the camp of blue tents.

We were playing hairdressers one day. They wanted their hair colored blue and green. I wanted mine colored black.
As she was pouring the 'dye' on my head Sofia suddenly said: "That's so unfair! Your hair actually goes black!!"


I'm not sure it does that anymore.

I feel

I feel as if such great beauty has never been before my eyes.

Never have little, discrete smiles filled my fighting body with a such delightful feeling - it was as if I needed not breathe ever again, and yet a hundred thousand times more.

My entire body was a captive to your eyes as I sat there, on the sofa, trying to ignore the lines of fireworks of fireflies that filled up my body. Trying to keep on conversing as naturally as I had the minute before you entered the room, before you let your mysterious eyes rest upon me and return many but not enough times - and yet I stumbled in midst of my sentence, the words towering above my head, falling like thunder

and disappearing as had they never been there.

I feel as if I have unknowingly opened a closet secret to me, a closet which treasures and secrets are now revealed to me.

I really hope she sees you the way I do.

Hello.. again.

If you've visited before you might have noticed that I deleted my first entry. I decided I wanted to go in another direction with this blog, but I may continue in the other 'style' somewhere else.

Right now I haven't got much to say, so I'll leave it at this.